Saturday, August 10, 2002
okay. so i had a poopy night. People came in past the time we were going to close. I kept making orders wrong, I was SO mad at Scott. i was making al the food myself. I was just TOTALLY upset. Sick of looking at food.
And then. I got this phone call. I will tell you right now that God knows how to make me infinitely happy. I wish I could expound on the phone call, but i can't. Maybe some other time.
I am so happy right now, i could burst.
And then. I got this phone call. I will tell you right now that God knows how to make me infinitely happy. I wish I could expound on the phone call, but i can't. Maybe some other time.
I am so happy right now, i could burst.
soooo i had three fun conversations last night. April- jaime-nick. Thank you. I needed all of that. I needed laughs. and april- i needed someone to talk about all that with. Thank you.
Now it's saturday and pretty soon i'll be going to work. All the tourists want food. BLAH! it's gonna be a long day.
Now it's saturday and pretty soon i'll be going to work. All the tourists want food. BLAH! it's gonna be a long day.
Friday, August 09, 2002
I'm such a genius.
So last night, I asked Scott about who this guy was. Took all my nerve, cause i didn't want to seem like I was interested you know? So i asked who he was, and it turns out that he works at the bank, and his dad owns the shell station. I still don't know his name. So i tried to look around for him today (it's a small town) and see what kind of car he drove. I was thinking maybe an early 90's honda accord. I peg people by cars.
This afternoon I stopped the shell (well, i was thirsty!!) but it was some older lady working the counter.
Tonight after i left the deli, I drove by, looked in the window and i saw a guy in there and i thought 'that must be him!', so the dork that I am, i turned around, went on the street behind the station, and drove back around. AND LO AND BEHOLD! he was coming out to help a customer with gas. hahah. that made my night. you can tell how bored I am.
Now- why am I genius? his car was parked on the side of the station.. and what was it? a late 80's Honda hatchback. I was SO CLOSE!!! I'm so good.
October 5th. Jaime and I are going to see Bob Dylan. She bought the tickets this morning. I really SHOULDN"T be excited about this, because, heck, I don't know Bob Dylan, but well. I am!! YAY! haha.
"She's heard about happiness
She's heard about Jesus
She's starving for the beautiful things
That people seem to believe in"-Brandtson
So last night, I asked Scott about who this guy was. Took all my nerve, cause i didn't want to seem like I was interested you know? So i asked who he was, and it turns out that he works at the bank, and his dad owns the shell station. I still don't know his name. So i tried to look around for him today (it's a small town) and see what kind of car he drove. I was thinking maybe an early 90's honda accord. I peg people by cars.
This afternoon I stopped the shell (well, i was thirsty!!) but it was some older lady working the counter.
Tonight after i left the deli, I drove by, looked in the window and i saw a guy in there and i thought 'that must be him!', so the dork that I am, i turned around, went on the street behind the station, and drove back around. AND LO AND BEHOLD! he was coming out to help a customer with gas. hahah. that made my night. you can tell how bored I am.
Now- why am I genius? his car was parked on the side of the station.. and what was it? a late 80's Honda hatchback. I was SO CLOSE!!! I'm so good.
October 5th. Jaime and I are going to see Bob Dylan. She bought the tickets this morning. I really SHOULDN"T be excited about this, because, heck, I don't know Bob Dylan, but well. I am!! YAY! haha.
"She's heard about happiness
She's heard about Jesus
She's starving for the beautiful things
That people seem to believe in"-Brandtson
Thursday, August 08, 2002
You know, this Cool Hand Luke band is harder stuff than I normally like.
But gee whiz. I love it.
But gee whiz. I love it.
11 days... almost there!
Wednesday, August 07, 2002
I got so frustrated at work today. I kept *not* reading the slips, and messing up orders, I got SO mad. and then of course i got mad at my job, and mad that i was still here, and mad about everything. For a half an hour I did not want to be anywhere close to that stinkin' deli. Seriously though, i've had enough of making peoples' food, all special, made to order. blah.
On a brighter note, he came in again today, and let me say... oh man. He was wearing this long sleeved maroon shirt, and khaki cords! oh man, he's cute. Really. I'll never talk to him though, so it doesn't matter. You can't make much conversation when you don't take orders, and he always takes it to go. boo and hiss.
This songs is hitting close to home today, and was all i could think about:
"lying in bed
wishing i was
someone else instead
i've got to figure
this one out
just between you and me
and god
everybody needs
some time to heal
everybody needs
like everybody bleeds
can't we sit and talk
about all that we've
loved and lost and
what it's cost
and i'll put on a show
for you
pretending not to hurt
like nothings ever wrong
and you'll see
right through me"-Brandtson
On a brighter note, he came in again today, and let me say... oh man. He was wearing this long sleeved maroon shirt, and khaki cords! oh man, he's cute. Really. I'll never talk to him though, so it doesn't matter. You can't make much conversation when you don't take orders, and he always takes it to go. boo and hiss.
This songs is hitting close to home today, and was all i could think about:
"lying in bed
wishing i was
someone else instead
i've got to figure
this one out
just between you and me
and god
everybody needs
some time to heal
everybody needs
like everybody bleeds
can't we sit and talk
about all that we've
loved and lost and
what it's cost
and i'll put on a show
for you
pretending not to hurt
like nothings ever wrong
and you'll see
right through me"-Brandtson
Monday, August 05, 2002
13 days.
new strong bad e-mail. check it out: http://www.homestarrunner.com
new strong bad e-mail. check it out: http://www.homestarrunner.com
Sunday, August 04, 2002
It rained while i was at work today... mmm the smell was so nice. i went and sat out under the eave, and watched it.
I took my 21-month-old cousin (ryan) and my 5 year old cousin (stephanie) to Longview (Shrub's hometown) today, to get some bread for the deli from my parents. It's an hour and a half drive (one way).. so of course there was music, and of course there were lots of little kiddie conversations. We played at the park. it was fun. I guess if you wanna act like a kid again, go to the park with some little people. They'll wear you out, but you'll have a great time. (and that longview playground equipment was awesome!)
sounds in the car:
Ester Drang-Goldenwest
Aaron Sprinkle-Bareface
3 Little Mermaid stories on cd
"If I ran the zoo" by dr. seuss on cd
Plankeye-Relocation
Plankeye-One and Only
Brandtson-Fallen Star Collection (cause steph likes to dance to the "dead in the water" song.
wearing:
my 238 shirt. Which reminded my Mom to tell me that my brother told HER to tell me that 238 is coming with the juliana theory to portland in a few days. (this was funny, coming from my mom), and that my brother was hoping maybe I could come down. I can't. And now i'm sad, cause my brother wanted to go with me!
thoughts:
Those private thoughts to God are what drowned out the screaming and yelling and "I want my mommy" from the kids. Thanking God for lessons learned, courage, strength, confidence, good friends, family that loves me, good music that gets me through, and a 22 year old car that runs like a dream.
That spanish thread makes me long for Mexico. And i have to wait until March.
My mom said I was a good mommy to the kids today
I'm considering going with Jaime to see Bob Dylan.. hmm.
"All eyes peer
Looking from the outside
You don't understand
What you see in me
I come running out
On your playground
Sometimes things are
The way they're meant to be
You stare at me....
And all these things are coming down
I'm not sure and you're giving me
That runaround
Could it be
That you don't know me
It's all in the way that you shun me"-Plankeye
I took my 21-month-old cousin (ryan) and my 5 year old cousin (stephanie) to Longview (Shrub's hometown) today, to get some bread for the deli from my parents. It's an hour and a half drive (one way).. so of course there was music, and of course there were lots of little kiddie conversations. We played at the park. it was fun. I guess if you wanna act like a kid again, go to the park with some little people. They'll wear you out, but you'll have a great time. (and that longview playground equipment was awesome!)
sounds in the car:
Ester Drang-Goldenwest
Aaron Sprinkle-Bareface
3 Little Mermaid stories on cd
"If I ran the zoo" by dr. seuss on cd
Plankeye-Relocation
Plankeye-One and Only
Brandtson-Fallen Star Collection (cause steph likes to dance to the "dead in the water" song.
wearing:
my 238 shirt. Which reminded my Mom to tell me that my brother told HER to tell me that 238 is coming with the juliana theory to portland in a few days. (this was funny, coming from my mom), and that my brother was hoping maybe I could come down. I can't. And now i'm sad, cause my brother wanted to go with me!
thoughts:
Those private thoughts to God are what drowned out the screaming and yelling and "I want my mommy" from the kids. Thanking God for lessons learned, courage, strength, confidence, good friends, family that loves me, good music that gets me through, and a 22 year old car that runs like a dream.
That spanish thread makes me long for Mexico. And i have to wait until March.
My mom said I was a good mommy to the kids today
I'm considering going with Jaime to see Bob Dylan.. hmm.
"All eyes peer
Looking from the outside
You don't understand
What you see in me
I come running out
On your playground
Sometimes things are
The way they're meant to be
You stare at me....
And all these things are coming down
I'm not sure and you're giving me
That runaround
Could it be
That you don't know me
It's all in the way that you shun me"-Plankeye
I haven't written anything lately... I guess i just haven't had much on my mind. Nothing really changes around here.
Odd. It was August 3rd last night. Okay it was Midnight, so technically it was August 4th. And here at the beach we had some big rain. It was actually very nice to hear it pounding down on the roof. Something I miss.. rain. I'm looknig forward to lots this fall so i can run around in it outside. Natalie and I did that one night last year... took off running outside while it was POURING. This time I'll remember to wear shoes. Cause if you don't, the cement starts to hurt on your freezing bare feet.
It's very odd. I'm becoming more comfortable with myself lately. I used to have problems with myself.. that whole self esteem bit.. but I think i've just begun to think "you know what? I can't change anything. I'm going to be me forever". You know? how i deal with people, and my introvertedness, and the way my face looks. It's not going to change. I think i just hit myself over the head and said "Get over it! Get used to yourself!" so that's what I did. I'm also very used to the fact that I don't date. I don't go after guys, it's just not a "me" thing to do. A while ago I was really upset that I might not marry till i'm old. Or I might not marry at all, and now I'm telling myself "So what? That's not my problem". If some guy doesn't like who I am, then oh well. i don't change for people. I think that's the sign of a weak person.. changing so you can fit in, so others will accept you.
"Are you one of the real ones?
You might be
But you could be wrong again"-Denison Marrs
Odd. It was August 3rd last night. Okay it was Midnight, so technically it was August 4th. And here at the beach we had some big rain. It was actually very nice to hear it pounding down on the roof. Something I miss.. rain. I'm looknig forward to lots this fall so i can run around in it outside. Natalie and I did that one night last year... took off running outside while it was POURING. This time I'll remember to wear shoes. Cause if you don't, the cement starts to hurt on your freezing bare feet.
It's very odd. I'm becoming more comfortable with myself lately. I used to have problems with myself.. that whole self esteem bit.. but I think i've just begun to think "you know what? I can't change anything. I'm going to be me forever". You know? how i deal with people, and my introvertedness, and the way my face looks. It's not going to change. I think i just hit myself over the head and said "Get over it! Get used to yourself!" so that's what I did. I'm also very used to the fact that I don't date. I don't go after guys, it's just not a "me" thing to do. A while ago I was really upset that I might not marry till i'm old. Or I might not marry at all, and now I'm telling myself "So what? That's not my problem". If some guy doesn't like who I am, then oh well. i don't change for people. I think that's the sign of a weak person.. changing so you can fit in, so others will accept you.
"Are you one of the real ones?
You might be
But you could be wrong again"-Denison Marrs
