Friday, April 15, 2005

 
I am looking forward to this weekend. I am missing a long-awaited Copeland concert so that I can visit with my 2 year old niece and that's just wonderful by me. I am especially looking forward to the 8 hour train ride home that I am taking. My parents are leaving on Sunday, but I want to spend more time with my brother, sister-in-law, and niece, and so I will be going home midweek next week.

Yesterday as I pulled into a gas station I realized how uncomfortable I am now. I came home from Mexico and was just surrounded by things I understood. Words, sayings, music, but also a culture that I am familiar with. It is overwhelming sometimes to be enveloped by everything I know. I got so used to being alienated by a culture and language, so used to quiet time by myself because it was forced on me, that now I'm not quite sure how to live my life when I have everything I need and want.

Since being back my life has been filled with media, friends, family, and freedom of the internet which includes music scenes, theology, and sarcasm. These are all things I didn't really have in Mexico. I was Meghan and there wasn't a whole lot that was inputting into that. Now all I constantly have is input. I have hardly read since being back, and I've touched my guitar maybe a total of five times.

While I know what I'm missing and what trash I've put into my life since being back it is hard to stop when all I know is better than that trash. I want it, I want it, I want it. I can't pretend that I didn't want it in Mexico, but I simply couldn't have it, and that made me feel righteous and okay.

Needless to say, I'm really looking forward to 8 hours on a train, not talking to anybody, listening to music and reading.

I'm sorry that all I'm talking about is Mexico, but I just can't help it.

Wednesday, April 13, 2005

 
They say a picture is worth a thousand words. That's if you make up the information about it. The pictures below could be anything, and I'm going to add some words for them. There are stories behind the pictures that nobody would ever know.

Picture #1: LuzAdriana is the chubster. And she has a funny walk that is hilarious to imitate. It never failed to get a laugh out of the teachers and a sly smile out of Luz. Her shoes were falling apart and I bought her new ones. She always tried to repay me with flowers picked and kisses. She has a younger brother, JoseManuel who constantly mocked me, and a little sister, Rosa, who was nothing but sweetness.

Picture #2: Irene was my best student in the English class. She has the memory of an elephant. Her gums bleed when she brushes her teeth because she doesn't brush at home. She has that sweet smile and likes hugs. She has two younger brothers at the center, Bruno, 4, and Juanito, 3, all in need of new shoes. Plus they have a host of older siblings. Jaunito liked his naps and it always took us a good 1/2 hour for us to wake him up. I always thought that might be because one might not get very much sleep when you share a bed with 6 or 7 siblings.

 
My mom walked into my room early this morning, looked around, and said "what happened in here?"

I groggily said "umm... tornado?"

Let me just say that I love late night things with friends. Let's go to the store and buy toilet paper. And chocolate in many forms. And let's drive home with a good song playing, bobbing around, singing along, and staring at the beautiful crescent moon. Okay? okay, i'm up for it.

Monday, April 11, 2005

 
i miss.

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Image hosted by Photobucket.com

i miss i miss i miss.

i don't have anyone to talk to about it, and i can't put it into words anyway.

Sunday, April 10, 2005

 
can people have life crises at 22 years old?

I think I'm having one.

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