Tuesday, October 01, 2002
Someone was talking about fall representing change.. and all that. They wanted contributions for something, but now i'm thinking about it.. and how they talked about it. Fall=change=preparing the way for new growth. Which.. amazes me. cause. um. Yeah. I think that's what's going to happen here pretty soon. I've got fall, and winter, and then things change.
We moved my grandma out of our house officially on Saturday. How weird. My sister in law talked about how weird it was to come over to an empty house on Sunday morning. She's used to my grandma being there (while the rest of us are at early service).. but no one was downstairs making noises moving around. We're having a sale this weekend of a lot of my grandma's furniture, to make room to sell our house. That's right. Our house goes up for sale in a couple of weeks. My parents signed the papers for this condo, and when it's built, we move in. Probably end of January.
Excuse me? no thanks. I don't want to.
The baby comes in March (my brother's. haha. not mine!). Rinda shopped for maternity clothes on Sunday. I saw the stroller my parents bought for "it". I guess i don't hate these changes (!!! Especially not this baby! Love it already!).. it just means things are changing. And things aren't going to be how they were. And... wahhhhhh I just get this whole "when is MY life going to end up like i want it" feeling. And i had the worst feeling, this gut feeling today, that i will never marry.
Sometimes it's nice to curl up with headphones on, and drift away, forget about things like this that bother you.
I had a pretty busy day today. Because i'm bored now, let's go over it.
9am: class. stinky hum210 class. BLAH
1015am: Get out of stinky class. Do HW assignment, hang out with jaime.
1130am: go get lunch at the cafeteria, take it to social action committee meeting. Sit there and listen and talk until 1235pm
1pm: Rhythmics class. Cha-cha-cha.
2pm: go talk to daddy about stuff on campus
230pm: Pre-natal class
345pm. Class over.
It was just kinda hectic. more than my normal day- but every tuesday will look like this, except i should've gone to chapel instead of doing that hw assignment. Oh well.
I should be talking about deep things. Deep things, Meghan!
On sunday our associate pastor talked about Jeremiah 29:11. And i really needed to hear it. Cause i never trust God. I want all these things in my life, and so often I'm skeptical that God will give them to me, just because I haven't seen them yet. You know? I've been so faithful (it seems to me). I've always been the good girl, and never got in trouble.. did what i was asked... and i've gotten great things.. like good friends... but I haven't gotten what i really really want, but i think maybe God is waiting for that. OR. i'm just not going to marry.
So i guess Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has plans for me. Good plans. Not bad plans. And what's hard for me to grasp still, is that even though they may be good plans, they might not be what i want. You know? Maybe they will, but they might not. But He doesn't have bad plans for me. He has my best interest in mind.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord
'Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you,
plans to give you a hope and a future
Then you will call upon me
and come and pray to me,
and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me
When you seek me with all your heart'"
We moved my grandma out of our house officially on Saturday. How weird. My sister in law talked about how weird it was to come over to an empty house on Sunday morning. She's used to my grandma being there (while the rest of us are at early service).. but no one was downstairs making noises moving around. We're having a sale this weekend of a lot of my grandma's furniture, to make room to sell our house. That's right. Our house goes up for sale in a couple of weeks. My parents signed the papers for this condo, and when it's built, we move in. Probably end of January.
Excuse me? no thanks. I don't want to.
The baby comes in March (my brother's. haha. not mine!). Rinda shopped for maternity clothes on Sunday. I saw the stroller my parents bought for "it". I guess i don't hate these changes (!!! Especially not this baby! Love it already!).. it just means things are changing. And things aren't going to be how they were. And... wahhhhhh I just get this whole "when is MY life going to end up like i want it" feeling. And i had the worst feeling, this gut feeling today, that i will never marry.
Sometimes it's nice to curl up with headphones on, and drift away, forget about things like this that bother you.
I had a pretty busy day today. Because i'm bored now, let's go over it.
9am: class. stinky hum210 class. BLAH
1015am: Get out of stinky class. Do HW assignment, hang out with jaime.
1130am: go get lunch at the cafeteria, take it to social action committee meeting. Sit there and listen and talk until 1235pm
1pm: Rhythmics class. Cha-cha-cha.
2pm: go talk to daddy about stuff on campus
230pm: Pre-natal class
345pm. Class over.
It was just kinda hectic. more than my normal day- but every tuesday will look like this, except i should've gone to chapel instead of doing that hw assignment. Oh well.
I should be talking about deep things. Deep things, Meghan!
On sunday our associate pastor talked about Jeremiah 29:11. And i really needed to hear it. Cause i never trust God. I want all these things in my life, and so often I'm skeptical that God will give them to me, just because I haven't seen them yet. You know? I've been so faithful (it seems to me). I've always been the good girl, and never got in trouble.. did what i was asked... and i've gotten great things.. like good friends... but I haven't gotten what i really really want, but i think maybe God is waiting for that. OR. i'm just not going to marry.
So i guess Jeremiah 29:11 says that God has plans for me. Good plans. Not bad plans. And what's hard for me to grasp still, is that even though they may be good plans, they might not be what i want. You know? Maybe they will, but they might not. But He doesn't have bad plans for me. He has my best interest in mind.
"'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord
'Plans to prosper you, and not to harm you,
plans to give you a hope and a future
Then you will call upon me
and come and pray to me,
and I will listen to you. You will seek me and find me
When you seek me with all your heart'"
