Wednesday, March 19, 2003
today in my mid-child/adolescent class my teacher said a great thing about belongingness in couples that depend on each other... something to this affect:
"You really want to love each other, but your need gets in the way of it"
"You really want to love each other, but your need gets in the way of it"
crap crap crap night. My brother and sister-in-law both were at church tonight. Afterwards my family went out to ice cream cause my very pregnant (overdue) sister in law wanted ice cream. give the pregnant lady what she wants.
And we're sitting there eating ice cream and my brother is talking about how they are probably going to move to klamath falls at the end of april. okay. shocker. my mom started to get upset about it, just sad you know? and .. then my sister in law started to cry. and then all us girls were crying.
it's such a hard situation. my little niece, hannah, is going to be born anytime, and then they are going to take her five hours away. I'm going to have to watch her grow up by pictures and e-mails. that is no good.
so we were all crying. And i got in my car and just started bawling. Bawling like hand-over-mouth-bawling. I was crying so hard. And then everything just started coming to my mind. the war, my brother and sister in law, being lonely, not knowing what to do with myself.
And we're sitting there eating ice cream and my brother is talking about how they are probably going to move to klamath falls at the end of april. okay. shocker. my mom started to get upset about it, just sad you know? and .. then my sister in law started to cry. and then all us girls were crying.
it's such a hard situation. my little niece, hannah, is going to be born anytime, and then they are going to take her five hours away. I'm going to have to watch her grow up by pictures and e-mails. that is no good.
so we were all crying. And i got in my car and just started bawling. Bawling like hand-over-mouth-bawling. I was crying so hard. And then everything just started coming to my mind. the war, my brother and sister in law, being lonely, not knowing what to do with myself.
Mmm.. i'm gonna sit here with my dance rotation going on, with my headphones on and kill a few minutes before my Lit class. Since the last time i posted something my life has just been completely busy and crazy. the 15th was Friday night right? Or.. i guess that was Saturday. Anyway.
Thursday- I got a call in the afternoon that my best friend was in the hospital and probably going to have an emergency appendectomy. I went to class, went to dinner with my parents, and then scooted over to the hospital. I was there for two and a half hours and never really got to see her, cause she was JUST going into surgery right when i got there. I interviewed her mom for a paper I have for my class.
Friday- I had practicum in the morning and then i went to visit my best friend in the hospital. I was there for a half hour or so, she was kinda out of it. I jetted over to my grandma's place and interviewed here for the same paper. I then came back to my room and then about 6 Tai and Stephanie and I went to a pizza parlor i love out by my house, and we went to see How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days. I told Tai I wanted to watch a movie and just LAUGH, and that's what we did. I went to bed early
Saturday- I had a babysitting job at 8am, so I was up and at 'em pretty early. I was there from 8-2. It was a weird job cause the mom was there the whole time and fixed lunch and changed diapers. It was very much NOT like a babysitting job. Hm. But i got paid well, for 7 hours instead of 6, i think she felt bad cause she had originally wanted me to for 8 hours, and then cut it short. I came back here, and then I went to visit my friend Sarah and interview her for the same paper. Then i just killed the rest of the night.
Sunday- church all morning, and then Sunday afternoon i went to lunch with my parents and brother, and then i went to my parents' apartment and did homework all afternoon. Really- that's all i did. Then about 6 i came back to my dorm and did more homework for hours on end.
Monday- I babysat, skipped a class to do more homework. went to my second class. Did homework all night.
Tuesday- Got woken up at 5am by pots and pans banging in my ear (and a squirt gun in the face). When i got up, i was given a bag of clothes, told to get dressed in a minute, and then we were off. My lovely attire included this red and white smocked dress, camo pants, a fishing vest and a pink feather boa. Needless to say I looked stupid. You might be wondering why i was wearing these things and why people were really waking me up so early- it was PA initiation by the current PAs and the Area Coordinator. They took us all out to breakfast looking like idiots, and we had to wear the clothes all day. So i went to classes and chapel like that. I did more homework during the day (including writing a very good (at least i think) lit paper in an hour and a half), and such. Took a test in my night class. Did more reading last night. I read almost all of death of a saleman last night.
Practicum this morning, now i'm doing nothing (well a little studying for a quiz I have this afternoon). I'm gonna go to lit class and turn in that paper, then go to my adolescent development class and turn in my 15 page paper. Then i'm gonna go to church. Tonight I think i'm going to crash.
Last night I entered into a pool thing for march madness with some guys from the vagrant message board. It's not really a pool cause there's no money involved. I was talked into it (though it didn't take much talking). We'll see what happens because i really know nothing about college basketball (about the teams). Hm.
I wish i had someone. I want someone to make mix tapes for. Especially this dance mix. It's great.(I wanna girl with a short skirt and a long jacket)
"Let's take our time
And this time let's not imagine
me and you
you and me (yeah)
for the last time
this is the first time
can we exchange all of our dreams
into reality"-Denison Marrs
Thursday- I got a call in the afternoon that my best friend was in the hospital and probably going to have an emergency appendectomy. I went to class, went to dinner with my parents, and then scooted over to the hospital. I was there for two and a half hours and never really got to see her, cause she was JUST going into surgery right when i got there. I interviewed her mom for a paper I have for my class.
Friday- I had practicum in the morning and then i went to visit my best friend in the hospital. I was there for a half hour or so, she was kinda out of it. I jetted over to my grandma's place and interviewed here for the same paper. I then came back to my room and then about 6 Tai and Stephanie and I went to a pizza parlor i love out by my house, and we went to see How to Lose a Guy in Ten Days. I told Tai I wanted to watch a movie and just LAUGH, and that's what we did. I went to bed early
Saturday- I had a babysitting job at 8am, so I was up and at 'em pretty early. I was there from 8-2. It was a weird job cause the mom was there the whole time and fixed lunch and changed diapers. It was very much NOT like a babysitting job. Hm. But i got paid well, for 7 hours instead of 6, i think she felt bad cause she had originally wanted me to for 8 hours, and then cut it short. I came back here, and then I went to visit my friend Sarah and interview her for the same paper. Then i just killed the rest of the night.
Sunday- church all morning, and then Sunday afternoon i went to lunch with my parents and brother, and then i went to my parents' apartment and did homework all afternoon. Really- that's all i did. Then about 6 i came back to my dorm and did more homework for hours on end.
Monday- I babysat, skipped a class to do more homework. went to my second class. Did homework all night.
Tuesday- Got woken up at 5am by pots and pans banging in my ear (and a squirt gun in the face). When i got up, i was given a bag of clothes, told to get dressed in a minute, and then we were off. My lovely attire included this red and white smocked dress, camo pants, a fishing vest and a pink feather boa. Needless to say I looked stupid. You might be wondering why i was wearing these things and why people were really waking me up so early- it was PA initiation by the current PAs and the Area Coordinator. They took us all out to breakfast looking like idiots, and we had to wear the clothes all day. So i went to classes and chapel like that. I did more homework during the day (including writing a very good (at least i think) lit paper in an hour and a half), and such. Took a test in my night class. Did more reading last night. I read almost all of death of a saleman last night.
Practicum this morning, now i'm doing nothing (well a little studying for a quiz I have this afternoon). I'm gonna go to lit class and turn in that paper, then go to my adolescent development class and turn in my 15 page paper. Then i'm gonna go to church. Tonight I think i'm going to crash.
Last night I entered into a pool thing for march madness with some guys from the vagrant message board. It's not really a pool cause there's no money involved. I was talked into it (though it didn't take much talking). We'll see what happens because i really know nothing about college basketball (about the teams). Hm.
I wish i had someone. I want someone to make mix tapes for. Especially this dance mix. It's great.(I wanna girl with a short skirt and a long jacket)
"Let's take our time
And this time let's not imagine
me and you
you and me (yeah)
for the last time
this is the first time
can we exchange all of our dreams
into reality"-Denison Marrs
