Sunday, August 18, 2002
Tonight I left Washington. I came home. And i wouldn't be able to describe to anyone exactly how that felt.
I have had a long, difficult, independent, strenuous summer. And now it's over. I get to lug all my stuff to my dorm room tomorrow, and settle back into college life, which I love.
I've realized more than ever my love for music. That was one thing this summer that was a constant. I didn't listen to as many cds on a normal basis as I did while i lived in the dorms, but it was more important to me now. If i never end up making any music, rest assured that I will always find joy in listening. Music is something that transcends. Music makes me happy.
I didn't go to church all summer. I lived with my cousins, and they went to a presbyterian church. Back in May I went once with them, but didn't care for the formality or the liturgy all that much. In July I happened to be home on a Sunday morning, and went to church after being up all night. I was glad to be at my home church. Today I went to watch my 5 year old cousin sing with a bunch of other kids. Other than that- I've had no church this summer. i missed it immensely.
I think a lot of times i get caught up in the discussions. About theology and converting, and different denominations, and thoughts. Granted, I dont' speak about them, but i mull them over a lot. And, it all worries me a great deal.
Today at the church, I watched my 5 year old cousin sing with other kids, the songs they learned in VBS. It was a camp-themed VBS, so they sang Kum by yah, some song i didn't know, and I got peace like a river. I watched Stephanie do all the hand motions, smile, and sing along. And all I had in my heart was this longing that she (and her 2 year old brother) would actually know the peace like a river, the joy like the fountain and the love like the ocean. It was strongest feeling and urge I had had all week.
I sat in my car, after the church service, and Pedro the Lion was playing in the cd player. I specifically put it to number 10 on "It's Hard to Find a Friend". I sat there with my head in my hands, listening to him say "Peace, be still." and that's exactly what i needed to hear.
I have learned so much this summer. Patience, forgiveness, independence, and much more about God than I ever thought I could learn in a summer. I've realized more than ever how He shapes who I am, how He's shapED who I am. Without Him I am nothing.
concrete girl, don't fall down, in this broken world around you
"i'll take this on my own again. i'm not afraid to be on my own again. i'm not sure exactly why or where i'm going. i'll just start again."-brandtson
I have had a long, difficult, independent, strenuous summer. And now it's over. I get to lug all my stuff to my dorm room tomorrow, and settle back into college life, which I love.
I've realized more than ever my love for music. That was one thing this summer that was a constant. I didn't listen to as many cds on a normal basis as I did while i lived in the dorms, but it was more important to me now. If i never end up making any music, rest assured that I will always find joy in listening. Music is something that transcends. Music makes me happy.
I didn't go to church all summer. I lived with my cousins, and they went to a presbyterian church. Back in May I went once with them, but didn't care for the formality or the liturgy all that much. In July I happened to be home on a Sunday morning, and went to church after being up all night. I was glad to be at my home church. Today I went to watch my 5 year old cousin sing with a bunch of other kids. Other than that- I've had no church this summer. i missed it immensely.
I think a lot of times i get caught up in the discussions. About theology and converting, and different denominations, and thoughts. Granted, I dont' speak about them, but i mull them over a lot. And, it all worries me a great deal.
Today at the church, I watched my 5 year old cousin sing with other kids, the songs they learned in VBS. It was a camp-themed VBS, so they sang Kum by yah, some song i didn't know, and I got peace like a river. I watched Stephanie do all the hand motions, smile, and sing along. And all I had in my heart was this longing that she (and her 2 year old brother) would actually know the peace like a river, the joy like the fountain and the love like the ocean. It was strongest feeling and urge I had had all week.
I sat in my car, after the church service, and Pedro the Lion was playing in the cd player. I specifically put it to number 10 on "It's Hard to Find a Friend". I sat there with my head in my hands, listening to him say "Peace, be still." and that's exactly what i needed to hear.
I have learned so much this summer. Patience, forgiveness, independence, and much more about God than I ever thought I could learn in a summer. I've realized more than ever how He shapes who I am, how He's shapED who I am. Without Him I am nothing.
concrete girl, don't fall down, in this broken world around you
"i'll take this on my own again. i'm not afraid to be on my own again. i'm not sure exactly why or where i'm going. i'll just start again."-brandtson
