Tuesday, November 01, 2005
Two completely different trains of thought on this All Saint's Day:
Today is my 23rd birthday. I look back over the past year and marvel at how much I have learned, how much I have stretched myself, how much I have grown in these circumstances. A year ago I envisioned my life after graduation. Now, a year later, I am envisioning something completely different. I have changed many of my beliefs, created a new lifestyle for myself, and have had the time of my life with my friends and family. I am incredibly blessed, or incredibly lucky, however you want to view it. At 23 I have discovered that I am becoming much more girly than I ever thought I would be. Earlier this year I finally got a stylish haircut for the first time in my life. I bought some big ass hoop earrings a few weeks ago that I wear occassionally now, and yesterday I painted my nails (albeit black) for probably the first time since I was 14. The times are a-changin'. Many times that is scary, but right now I am excited.
------------------------------------------------------------
Last week, when it was announced that the 2,000th soldier died in Iraq, my third grade teacher told the class about it, using the bar graph on the front of the paper as a very small lesson about how bar graphs are used. The deaths were separated by month, dating back to the Spring of 2003 when it began.
And I sat there and marveled that this has gone on so long. I distinctly remember when this all began and Natalie and I sat in our sophomore dorm room trying to make sense of any of it. At the time I thought (and said) "but don't they know more than us? Isn't this for the better? Saddam is so evil." I trusted and trusted over and over again. Natalie and I sat and pondered about the state of our world and the government we trusted. Now, two and a half years later, I don't see an end and I'm not trusting anymore.
So many of us were raised to respect and admire the United States. World power, a model of freedom, liberty, and justice. But look at us now. Or look at us in the historical span of time. Why can't we have people in power who are honest, merciful, and really, truly just? I laugh at the notion that this is some Christian nation. Because if this is a Christian nation, then don't call me a Christian. I am tired and fed up with our selfishness, our pride, and our egotistical stance that the world revolves around us. I am so tired.
Today is my 23rd birthday. I look back over the past year and marvel at how much I have learned, how much I have stretched myself, how much I have grown in these circumstances. A year ago I envisioned my life after graduation. Now, a year later, I am envisioning something completely different. I have changed many of my beliefs, created a new lifestyle for myself, and have had the time of my life with my friends and family. I am incredibly blessed, or incredibly lucky, however you want to view it. At 23 I have discovered that I am becoming much more girly than I ever thought I would be. Earlier this year I finally got a stylish haircut for the first time in my life. I bought some big ass hoop earrings a few weeks ago that I wear occassionally now, and yesterday I painted my nails (albeit black) for probably the first time since I was 14. The times are a-changin'. Many times that is scary, but right now I am excited.
------------------------------------------------------------
Last week, when it was announced that the 2,000th soldier died in Iraq, my third grade teacher told the class about it, using the bar graph on the front of the paper as a very small lesson about how bar graphs are used. The deaths were separated by month, dating back to the Spring of 2003 when it began.
And I sat there and marveled that this has gone on so long. I distinctly remember when this all began and Natalie and I sat in our sophomore dorm room trying to make sense of any of it. At the time I thought (and said) "but don't they know more than us? Isn't this for the better? Saddam is so evil." I trusted and trusted over and over again. Natalie and I sat and pondered about the state of our world and the government we trusted. Now, two and a half years later, I don't see an end and I'm not trusting anymore.
So many of us were raised to respect and admire the United States. World power, a model of freedom, liberty, and justice. But look at us now. Or look at us in the historical span of time. Why can't we have people in power who are honest, merciful, and really, truly just? I laugh at the notion that this is some Christian nation. Because if this is a Christian nation, then don't call me a Christian. I am tired and fed up with our selfishness, our pride, and our egotistical stance that the world revolves around us. I am so tired.
