Saturday, September 27, 2003
I feel like i'm being pulled into this stereotype of young, hip twentysomethings who are confused about who they are. Which is no fun, because I actually like myself and I don't want to drive a VW, nor do I want to buy things at Ikea, and I don't drink coffee. I don't want a high paying career, I don't want the brand new car. I don't want to figure everything out so that the rest of my life is comfy cozy and i never ask any questions when I reach the age of 30.
All I want is an old house, old furniture, my old lovely car (Willis, who i want to keep forever), some books and some music.
Maybe it's my mother in me, but I have a huge fascination with all things old. Cars, houses, furniture, knick knacks. I adore old cars much more than new cars. I like old style rather new, modern, twisted stuff. I'll take old, black and white schoolhouse pictures from 1929 over some picture of a stupid flower from Ikea any day. I cannot even fathom buying a pre-fabricated-everything-picked-out-for-you room, selected from a store and delivered the next day. How boring, how uncreative, how bland.
I don't know if I appreciate old because I think I missed out some great eras or because I'm grateful for what we have now. I'd like to think it is the former.
All I want is an old house, old furniture, my old lovely car (Willis, who i want to keep forever), some books and some music.
Maybe it's my mother in me, but I have a huge fascination with all things old. Cars, houses, furniture, knick knacks. I adore old cars much more than new cars. I like old style rather new, modern, twisted stuff. I'll take old, black and white schoolhouse pictures from 1929 over some picture of a stupid flower from Ikea any day. I cannot even fathom buying a pre-fabricated-everything-picked-out-for-you room, selected from a store and delivered the next day. How boring, how uncreative, how bland.
I don't know if I appreciate old because I think I missed out some great eras or because I'm grateful for what we have now. I'd like to think it is the former.
Tuesday, September 23, 2003
So I'm reading "Girlfriend in a Coma" by Douglas Coupland, and I'm almost done. On page 272 one friend begins to tell his group of friends these passages. I absolutely adore them and had to write them down somewhere. Read on:
"Well, now it's going to be as if you've died and were reincarnated but you stay inside your own body. For all of you. And in your new lives you'll have to live entirely for that one sensation- that of imminent truth. And you're going to have to holler for it, steal for it, beg for it- and you're never to stop asking questions about it twenty-four hours a day, the rest of your life.
"This is Plan B.
"Every day for the rest of your lives, all of your living moments are to be spent making others aware of this need-- the need to probe and drill and examine and locate the words that take us to beyond ourselves
"Scrape. Feel. Dig. Believe. Ask.
"Ask questions, no screech questions out loud- while kneeling in front of the electric doors of Safeway, demanding other citizens ask questions along with you- while chewing up old textbooks and spitting the words onto downtown sidewalks- outside the Planet Hollywood, outside the stock exchange, and outside the Gap.
"Grind questions onto the glass on photocopiers. Scrape challenges onto old auto parts and thrown them off of bridges so that future people digging in the mud will questions the world, too. Carve eyeballs into tire treads and onto shoe leathers so that your every trail speaks of thinking and questioning and awareness. Design molecules that crystallize into question marks. Make bar codes print out fables, not prices. You can't even throw away a piece of littler unless it has a question stamped on it-- a demand for people to reach a finer place."
There is more conversation and then on the next page:
"There is no other meaning. This is it."
thank YOU.
"Well, now it's going to be as if you've died and were reincarnated but you stay inside your own body. For all of you. And in your new lives you'll have to live entirely for that one sensation- that of imminent truth. And you're going to have to holler for it, steal for it, beg for it- and you're never to stop asking questions about it twenty-four hours a day, the rest of your life.
"This is Plan B.
"Every day for the rest of your lives, all of your living moments are to be spent making others aware of this need-- the need to probe and drill and examine and locate the words that take us to beyond ourselves
"Scrape. Feel. Dig. Believe. Ask.
"Ask questions, no screech questions out loud- while kneeling in front of the electric doors of Safeway, demanding other citizens ask questions along with you- while chewing up old textbooks and spitting the words onto downtown sidewalks- outside the Planet Hollywood, outside the stock exchange, and outside the Gap.
"Grind questions onto the glass on photocopiers. Scrape challenges onto old auto parts and thrown them off of bridges so that future people digging in the mud will questions the world, too. Carve eyeballs into tire treads and onto shoe leathers so that your every trail speaks of thinking and questioning and awareness. Design molecules that crystallize into question marks. Make bar codes print out fables, not prices. You can't even throw away a piece of littler unless it has a question stamped on it-- a demand for people to reach a finer place."
There is more conversation and then on the next page:
"There is no other meaning. This is it."
thank YOU.
So it all started September 11th. My hall of girls had a "smore-out"... standing around by an outside fireplace on campus... we were doused with water. Multiple times by boys who knew about our activity.
Revenge came swiftly by way of nasty, stinky, gross feminine hygiene products plastering their hallway.
This morning though, we've been had. One of my girls went to the hospital last night because she was terribly sick. She got home at 3:15am and I told her to come tell me when she got in. So she did. She was 100% better and i said "Good!" and went back to bed.
3:45am there was shuffling and scuffling and noise and i knew it was the boys (rhyming!). I jumped out of bed to look outside to see who was running away... boys booking it across our little courtyard to their dorm.
I open our hallway, afraid of what I'm going to find. And i was right be afraid. We have hay all along our hallway, and strutting around on top are pigeons, small roosters and a big fatty rooster. We laugh, we scream... it was .. crazy.
Ashley tried to shoo the birds out an end window with her Swiffer (that was entertaining). She got three out the window, and another PA got all of the animals into a small hall closet...
And now those roosters just sit there crowing. Which is why I'm awake and showered and dressed at 5:30am.
All i know is that if Tyler's relatives want their pricey animals back- he better come get them. I'm calling animal control.
Revenge came swiftly by way of nasty, stinky, gross feminine hygiene products plastering their hallway.
This morning though, we've been had. One of my girls went to the hospital last night because she was terribly sick. She got home at 3:15am and I told her to come tell me when she got in. So she did. She was 100% better and i said "Good!" and went back to bed.
3:45am there was shuffling and scuffling and noise and i knew it was the boys (rhyming!). I jumped out of bed to look outside to see who was running away... boys booking it across our little courtyard to their dorm.
I open our hallway, afraid of what I'm going to find. And i was right be afraid. We have hay all along our hallway, and strutting around on top are pigeons, small roosters and a big fatty rooster. We laugh, we scream... it was .. crazy.
Ashley tried to shoo the birds out an end window with her Swiffer (that was entertaining). She got three out the window, and another PA got all of the animals into a small hall closet...
And now those roosters just sit there crowing. Which is why I'm awake and showered and dressed at 5:30am.
All i know is that if Tyler's relatives want their pricey animals back- he better come get them. I'm calling animal control.
Sunday, September 21, 2003
I wonder sometimes if it's too much to ask to want to be able to (agh, bad writing) understand things. I'm one of those reconciler people and i just wish I got "it". Or that others would get it or something. Natalie and I had good talks tonight.
It is completely weird to be in love with so many things right now. mewithoutYou, Mates of State, Douglas Coupland....
And then to still wonder about so many things: Tyler having to kill people in Iraq. It makes it all so real now- It's not some far off thing anymore... Tyler will be stuck forever with having to kill other people. The peace protests. Politics. Trying to find a nice middle ground between conservative and liberal. Something without a label.
And i wish i could find someone to share this all with. Someone who'll face this weird mystery of life together with me. Maybe I'll face it alone.
On a completely opposite note: cologne always does me in.
"It all begins with a smile
Who is reading this?
Who is leading this?
Cause I thought you should know
that this is not an open book
(it's the cycle of five)
They read so much it tears them down
They're all around the kinder people
like the Federman's tale
And I know myself
of course cause it's certifiable
The people that are pushing in their cheeks, oh
And i thought you should warn them
that this is not an open book
And i know how strong the pull of what's fortified,
make sense?
Don't read so much it tears you down
you're all around
the kind of people
like the prodigal heirs and their sons
(you're turning into the people,
the people like the prodigal heirs
and their sons).
Tell me what you have
And that's when i'll know
if you have anything to start with
These are the fibers of what makes the world
Left are the fibrous ones
who've met the world
Here are the favors done
left are the fibers of letting go"-Mates
It is completely weird to be in love with so many things right now. mewithoutYou, Mates of State, Douglas Coupland....
And then to still wonder about so many things: Tyler having to kill people in Iraq. It makes it all so real now- It's not some far off thing anymore... Tyler will be stuck forever with having to kill other people. The peace protests. Politics. Trying to find a nice middle ground between conservative and liberal. Something without a label.
And i wish i could find someone to share this all with. Someone who'll face this weird mystery of life together with me. Maybe I'll face it alone.
On a completely opposite note: cologne always does me in.
"It all begins with a smile
Who is reading this?
Who is leading this?
Cause I thought you should know
that this is not an open book
(it's the cycle of five)
They read so much it tears them down
They're all around the kinder people
like the Federman's tale
And I know myself
of course cause it's certifiable
The people that are pushing in their cheeks, oh
And i thought you should warn them
that this is not an open book
And i know how strong the pull of what's fortified,
make sense?
Don't read so much it tears you down
you're all around
the kind of people
like the prodigal heirs and their sons
(you're turning into the people,
the people like the prodigal heirs
and their sons).
Tell me what you have
And that's when i'll know
if you have anything to start with
These are the fibers of what makes the world
Left are the fibrous ones
who've met the world
Here are the favors done
left are the fibers of letting go"-Mates
