Wednesday, May 03, 2006
I just finally let myself cry about it. I was putting the very end part on a scrapbook about our house, and it just all came out. When you're working so hard to get a semester finished, and you're running around like crazy, you don't let yourself think about it. A myriad of reasons are behind this anxiety.
-I am leaving a place I have known as a home. More consistent than the churches I have gone to, and not subject to moving (like my homes), this college has been a part of my life for nearly all of it. It seems ridiculous but I grew up anticipating attending this college. We lived on campus when I was a small child, I sold lemonade in the faculty building, I scraped knees riding down the hill, and got dizzy rolling down the front lawn. I went to homecoming after homecoming, orientation barbeques, and new student retreats (which my mom said were cheaper to go to than staying home)... all as a kid not of college age. My grandparents have gone here, my mom went here, my brother went here, now I have gone here. I entered as a very shy, quiet freshman, and have developed leadership and independence skills I could not have imagined. oh sigh college, i really like you.
-I'm going to Mexico for 6-8 weeks and I leave next Wednesday. I have to pack up all of my belongings, mark them to organize this summer, throw it away, or give it away.
-At the end of my time in Mexico my parents will be moving down to the same exact place. I'll spend a few weeks with them, and then head back here. When I leave Mexico, and my parents, it will probably be the last time I see them for over a year. I love and adore my parents, and this will be so hard for me.
-I'm graduating! They're giving me a diploma AND a teaching license! It's like I'm an actual adult! All those frustrations of papers and projects and long homework weekends, and 410, and all of that... culminates into this? yes, please, i'll take it.
-i'm leaving my beloved house of roommates. we are truly awesome. I wrote in our scrapbook that it's for a good reason that we talk about how great we are- we are all friends, and beyond that we are friends who have lived together VERY peacefully for 2 years. How rare is that? Very.
let me say that it is often hard to reconcile the excitement for the future and anxiety of leaving the wonderful past behind.
"it's not the same without you around"-MoS
-I am leaving a place I have known as a home. More consistent than the churches I have gone to, and not subject to moving (like my homes), this college has been a part of my life for nearly all of it. It seems ridiculous but I grew up anticipating attending this college. We lived on campus when I was a small child, I sold lemonade in the faculty building, I scraped knees riding down the hill, and got dizzy rolling down the front lawn. I went to homecoming after homecoming, orientation barbeques, and new student retreats (which my mom said were cheaper to go to than staying home)... all as a kid not of college age. My grandparents have gone here, my mom went here, my brother went here, now I have gone here. I entered as a very shy, quiet freshman, and have developed leadership and independence skills I could not have imagined. oh sigh college, i really like you.
-I'm going to Mexico for 6-8 weeks and I leave next Wednesday. I have to pack up all of my belongings, mark them to organize this summer, throw it away, or give it away.
-At the end of my time in Mexico my parents will be moving down to the same exact place. I'll spend a few weeks with them, and then head back here. When I leave Mexico, and my parents, it will probably be the last time I see them for over a year. I love and adore my parents, and this will be so hard for me.
-I'm graduating! They're giving me a diploma AND a teaching license! It's like I'm an actual adult! All those frustrations of papers and projects and long homework weekends, and 410, and all of that... culminates into this? yes, please, i'll take it.
-i'm leaving my beloved house of roommates. we are truly awesome. I wrote in our scrapbook that it's for a good reason that we talk about how great we are- we are all friends, and beyond that we are friends who have lived together VERY peacefully for 2 years. How rare is that? Very.
let me say that it is often hard to reconcile the excitement for the future and anxiety of leaving the wonderful past behind.
"it's not the same without you around"-MoS
I wrote this yesterday:
Life has been hectic in the last week. The timing belt on my car went out. I finished the solo-ing part of my student teaching, had my final evaluation, and got my letter of reference. I got strep throat on Saturday and although I showed up at school yesterday I only stayed for a couple of hours, and then came home. We had a party last night at our house (which poor Erica sat through), and this morning I'm still at home.
However, things do change. My car is fixed, I went to the doctor and got on some drugs, I feel better, and I had a phone interview a little while ago to place me teaching English in S. Korea.
And the guy liked what he heard (amazing), and said I was what they were looking for, and apparently now I'm in the Employers' File, and they'll search for a job for me.
It seems everything is happening really fast. I'm graduating on Saturday (my roommate says "i can't believe they're giving me a diploma!"), I get my teaching license fairly soon, I'm leaving for Mexico, my parents are moving to Mexico.
And i have to get all my crap out of this house. Hello dumpster.
And I'm kinda freaking out right now.
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One of the most exciting things for me is to be able to tell this guy my experience in classrooms, my jobs, and my volunteer stuff (mexico, hot chocolate), and him sounding very impressed with it all. I can't believe that's the sort of stuff that makes employers happy- it's my life. These are the things I've decided to fill my life with- not because I was thinking of a future resume, but because these are things I've loved to do. And now it's magically paying off. That's pretty amazing.
Life has been hectic in the last week. The timing belt on my car went out. I finished the solo-ing part of my student teaching, had my final evaluation, and got my letter of reference. I got strep throat on Saturday and although I showed up at school yesterday I only stayed for a couple of hours, and then came home. We had a party last night at our house (which poor Erica sat through), and this morning I'm still at home.
However, things do change. My car is fixed, I went to the doctor and got on some drugs, I feel better, and I had a phone interview a little while ago to place me teaching English in S. Korea.
And the guy liked what he heard (amazing), and said I was what they were looking for, and apparently now I'm in the Employers' File, and they'll search for a job for me.
It seems everything is happening really fast. I'm graduating on Saturday (my roommate says "i can't believe they're giving me a diploma!"), I get my teaching license fairly soon, I'm leaving for Mexico, my parents are moving to Mexico.
And i have to get all my crap out of this house. Hello dumpster.
And I'm kinda freaking out right now.
-------------------------------------------------
One of the most exciting things for me is to be able to tell this guy my experience in classrooms, my jobs, and my volunteer stuff (mexico, hot chocolate), and him sounding very impressed with it all. I can't believe that's the sort of stuff that makes employers happy- it's my life. These are the things I've decided to fill my life with- not because I was thinking of a future resume, but because these are things I've loved to do. And now it's magically paying off. That's pretty amazing.
