Friday, September 20, 2002
My mom asked me tonight what i wanted to do, a dream I had. This came because I said i was bad at school, and because of this conversation we were having of me turning 20, and how i said I didn't want to turn 20, then i had to grow up, and didn't want to graduate college because then i had to go teach kids. Anyway. She asked. and i said "it won't happen." and she said "Well if you say that, then it won't... is it something in the music business?" and i said "well i want to be in a band, but nobody wants me in a band, it won't happen." this is weird because it's like if i finally admit my dream to my mom, it's like i've admitted it to the world.
So then of course i got depressed cause this is what i'd rather be doing with my life. I know i should have a degree anyway, and so i should be doing that.. but i love music more than all of this right now.. and i'd rather spend my life dealing with that.
Oh- and of course my dad thinks the reason I don't want to turn 20 is because i haven't found the one. I said I didn't want to, and he goes off into "well your mom didn't get married till she was twenty" and i'm like "That's not even why I don't to turn twenty, but thanks for reminding me." By this time Joel and Rinda were in love, and planning their life.
Gee whiz.
Shoot me.
I don't even want to socialize right now, because I fear I might have a breakdown. i'd like to crawl into a hole until i'm 65.
So then of course i got depressed cause this is what i'd rather be doing with my life. I know i should have a degree anyway, and so i should be doing that.. but i love music more than all of this right now.. and i'd rather spend my life dealing with that.
Oh- and of course my dad thinks the reason I don't want to turn 20 is because i haven't found the one. I said I didn't want to, and he goes off into "well your mom didn't get married till she was twenty" and i'm like "That's not even why I don't to turn twenty, but thanks for reminding me." By this time Joel and Rinda were in love, and planning their life.
Gee whiz.
Shoot me.
I don't even want to socialize right now, because I fear I might have a breakdown. i'd like to crawl into a hole until i'm 65.
Wednesday, September 18, 2002
I always take these long breaks from writing in my blog, probably cause i can't think of anything new and exciting to write. Last night was pretty boring. I mean, i knew i'd have nothing to do (no homework), so i went home and got my scrapbook stuff. After dinner I started in putting together pages about our family roadtrip (which included Cornerstone), and i'm putting together all these pictures, and just feeling like "I wanna be back there". Cornerstone was so great. Besides, the weather, I mean. I wanna go back next year, and I'm trying to figure out how I could do that.
Hm. That's all I have to say for now, i guess. boring boring.
"It was a beautiful Let down
When i crashed and burned"-Switchfoot
Hm. That's all I have to say for now, i guess. boring boring.
"It was a beautiful Let down
When i crashed and burned"-Switchfoot
