Thursday, February 06, 2003
It is SucH a gorgeous day outside. I think it's supposed to be this way through the weekend. This is the weather I love. white clouds floating by, blue skies, and it's about 55 degrees out. I love that kind of weather. mmmmm i say. i should sit outside today or tomorrow.
"the bathroom is a creepy place for pictures of your friends"-238
There's not a whole lot to talk about. I got my PA application, and i'm in the middle of filling that out. I just got an e-mail from jim haley, the Area Coordinator for the dorms just saying "i saw all you people signed up for being interested in being a PA... blah blah blah". And it had other peoples' e-mails on it. umm.. so there are all these great people i'm up against. And now i'm like "why even bother?" i said that to myself "Well this is a lose-lose situation" .. but oh well. Then i remembered I placed it in God's hands, and if it's mean to be, then it is. I can't force it, and i can't change anything, i can just do my best. If i'm supposed to be a PA, i suppose it'll happen.
"I just remembered that time at the market
Snuck up behind me, and jumped on my shopping cart
and rolled down aisle five
You looked behind you to smile back at me
Crashed into a rack of magazines
They asked us if we could leave
Can't remember what went wrong last september
though i'm sure you'd remind me if you had to
our love was comfortable
and so broken in [insert the other day's lyrics in here]
She thinks i can't see the smile that she's fakin
and poses for pictures that aren't being taken
I loved you
grey sweatpants
no makeup
so perfect
our love was comfortable and so broken in "- john mayer
"the bathroom is a creepy place for pictures of your friends"-238
There's not a whole lot to talk about. I got my PA application, and i'm in the middle of filling that out. I just got an e-mail from jim haley, the Area Coordinator for the dorms just saying "i saw all you people signed up for being interested in being a PA... blah blah blah". And it had other peoples' e-mails on it. umm.. so there are all these great people i'm up against. And now i'm like "why even bother?" i said that to myself "Well this is a lose-lose situation" .. but oh well. Then i remembered I placed it in God's hands, and if it's mean to be, then it is. I can't force it, and i can't change anything, i can just do my best. If i'm supposed to be a PA, i suppose it'll happen.
"I just remembered that time at the market
Snuck up behind me, and jumped on my shopping cart
and rolled down aisle five
You looked behind you to smile back at me
Crashed into a rack of magazines
They asked us if we could leave
Can't remember what went wrong last september
though i'm sure you'd remind me if you had to
our love was comfortable
and so broken in [insert the other day's lyrics in here]
She thinks i can't see the smile that she's fakin
and poses for pictures that aren't being taken
I loved you
grey sweatpants
no makeup
so perfect
our love was comfortable and so broken in "- john mayer
Tuesday, February 04, 2003
"our love was comfortable
And so broken in
I sleep with this new girl
I'm still getting used to
My friends all approve
say "she's gonna be good for you"
they throw me high fives
She's says the bible is all that she reads
And prefers that I not use profanity
your mouth was so dirty
Life of the party and she swears she's artsy
But you could distinguish Miles from Coltrane"
And so broken in
I sleep with this new girl
I'm still getting used to
My friends all approve
say "she's gonna be good for you"
they throw me high fives
She's says the bible is all that she reads
And prefers that I not use profanity
your mouth was so dirty
Life of the party and she swears she's artsy
But you could distinguish Miles from Coltrane"
Today in chapel we watched the 8 minute video about our trip to Mexico last year, and I started crying. Right there in chapel. I"m such a big softie. Video of my dad with those little kids, and me teaching them how to brush their teeth properly. The drug rehab center, and those boys building that family's house. Later on we sang that worship song "All of my ambitions, hopes and plans. I surrend these into Your hands".
And it just made me think of what my priorities are. Iv'e been upset lately cause I can't go to Cornerstone, and one of those reasons was because of going to Mexico at the very end of June, and now i'm telling myself "Cornerstone? Over being in Mexico again? Yeah right." I realized today how much I thrive on those experiences. I have no idea what God is telling me, and that's scary. Well, maybe I do know what He is saying, and I'd like to think I can't hear Him. Too bad HE knows that I know what He's saying. I'm accountable now, to how I'm going to spend my life, and what I'm going to do with it. I will be held responsible for my actions, my time, my efforts, my relationships and the things I hold dearly. What is it in my life that is above all else? Can i say that it is God, or am I just fooling myself? What kind of impact do I really want to make? This is more than scary, it's mind-blowing, and I feel like He's taking my plans and turning them into something else.
I saw people after chapel. They were laughing about me being relatively stupid in the video (i mean, c'mon, I was showing kids how to properly brush their teeth). They were asking if I was there, and if i knew they were showing the video. I laughed about it with them, but all I could think of was how that experience (and others) have shaped me, and change how i see things. I cried there in chapel. Not fully because I was being sentimental and sappy, but because i want to go back. So badly.
We were meant to live for so much more
And it just made me think of what my priorities are. Iv'e been upset lately cause I can't go to Cornerstone, and one of those reasons was because of going to Mexico at the very end of June, and now i'm telling myself "Cornerstone? Over being in Mexico again? Yeah right." I realized today how much I thrive on those experiences. I have no idea what God is telling me, and that's scary. Well, maybe I do know what He is saying, and I'd like to think I can't hear Him. Too bad HE knows that I know what He's saying. I'm accountable now, to how I'm going to spend my life, and what I'm going to do with it. I will be held responsible for my actions, my time, my efforts, my relationships and the things I hold dearly. What is it in my life that is above all else? Can i say that it is God, or am I just fooling myself? What kind of impact do I really want to make? This is more than scary, it's mind-blowing, and I feel like He's taking my plans and turning them into something else.
I saw people after chapel. They were laughing about me being relatively stupid in the video (i mean, c'mon, I was showing kids how to properly brush their teeth). They were asking if I was there, and if i knew they were showing the video. I laughed about it with them, but all I could think of was how that experience (and others) have shaped me, and change how i see things. I cried there in chapel. Not fully because I was being sentimental and sappy, but because i want to go back. So badly.
We were meant to live for so much more
