Tuesday, December 20, 2005

 
I think perhaps because I didn't have good friends when I was in high school that I make way too much out of the friendships I have. Or that when I hang out with people and we have a good time I get too many warm fuzzies. And I attach too fast or something. And I just wanna be best buds with anyone who will pay me any attention. or something. Or maybe it's the opposite- that I know in a half a year I won't have these people around, or any close friends for that matter. I'm trying to hold so dear and cherish everything and it seems like it's all slipping through my fingers.

And in all the fun we have I wish I could talk to someone about everything. I am so confused, so unstable. I told God to fix it and he hasn't.

Comments:
I used to be like that. Now I don't care all that much. Except for Vagrant people. I want them to think that I'm really cool. But I'm actually a dork. Now you know the truth about me.
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it's not so much about people thinking I'm cool. I'm mostly over that. It's just wanting genuine relationships, and now that I've found them I'm very scared for the day when they're not going to be a constant in my life. I know what it's like to be without, and it's not pretty.
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I knew what you meant. I was trying to say that the Vagrants are the only people that I long for genuine relationships with. And Geoff at work. Pretty much everyone else, besides my wife and the other people with whom I ALREADY have a genuine relationship, I can take or leave.
# posted by Anonymous Anonymous : 6:36 PM
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