Cement Girl

How to Make a Great Sandwich
by Meghan

1) First you must find the foundation of your beautiful sandwich. This means bread. Do not use those small square breads that you used for peanut butter and jelly when you were a kid. You need big deli bread. Wheat is best for you, but if you're picky like Meghan it takes 5 minutes to pick out wheat bread. For her, it must be wheat with no crunchy nonsense in it. This is tough, but doable. Also, for a great sandwich your bread must be toasted. And no weeny toasting... I mean full-fledged toasting.

2) Choose a spread. Meghan likes hummus. Hummus with garlic. Yes. Use it. Spread it liberally onto your toast.

3) Find lettuce. Meghan likes iceberg because it's crunchy, but her friend Natalie scoffs at iceberg, so use whichever you prefer.

4) Tomatoes are a must. Find a small vine-ripened tomato and cut it in slices. Use all of it.

5) Cucumber should be cut in thin, yet abundant pieces. If they are too big your bites will be labored and horrible. Be wise in this area.

6) Find your cheese. Cheese is a must. Make it a good deli cheese, like Havarti. However, if you would like a heavenly sandwich then you should choose and use Tillamook Cheddar (Medium to sharp, whatever you prefer). If you are using Kraft singles still just give up altogether and throw your sandwich in the garbage. Kraft singles are disgusting and puke-inducing.

7) Assemble your sandwich in this order: toast, hummus, cheese, cucumber, tomato, lettuce, and the other piece of toast with hummus on it. This order provides good stability for your wonderful sandwich and easier preparation.

8) Cut and enjoy.