Cement Girl

Last night I was Mary in the live nativity. There aren't too many woman parts, as you can imagine, so I am usually Mary. I never want to be an angel- you have to hold your arms up too long.

So you sit for a half an hour at a time, staring at the angel, and you do two shifts. Some people think it's really boring, but it's actually a really great time to just sit and think about things. I thought about the whole semester. I thought about how it started, when Seth came to visit, and about all the things that have transpired since. I was telling Cam last night that I'm not quite sure how I'm supposed to make connections with guys. I just don't do it. I'm fine with small talk, and meaningless things, yet I just can't go any further that that. Spinster! heh.

I can look back at May and realized how much I've grown since then, and not just because of everything with Seth. Over the summer and continuing to now I have seen a lot of my convictions change. Everything with Seth, Hot Chocolate Outreach, being disgruntled with my church, being disgruntled with any church, and simply realizing what I'm supposed to be doing here. So much has changed in the past few months. It's exciting and it's scary all the same. How much do I want to change? And are all these thoughts and ideas going to evolve into something else next semester? I am so thrilled with where I am right now. Not some God-high, but the sudden enlightenment of what it means to serve God.

So my combined hour of solitary thinking and meditating was wonderful. It's too bad I had to come home to do homework. I have a small presentation today (no big deal), and quiz that I'm not going to bother to study for. I have to finish working on a portfolio and cleaning up my 410 to turn into the library. This is what I'll be doing all day.

and that disgusting, nasty jury as well... tomorrow morning. blast.