Cement Girl

What happens when you're not sure you want it anymore? What happens when you don't want to be surrounded by your peers, and you don't want to be surrounded by your family and you don't even know what you want?

What happens when you think you're bogged down with too many questions and not enough answers, although the answers never really give you what you want anyway. And what happens when you feel like you're clawing you're way to the top, into the Lap, but really it feels like you're just stuck here, in limbo, waiting.

I wish I could find out what I was going to do with my life. I wish I could take all the emotion and longing and passion and filter it into something. At the very least my schoolwork. At the very most some art.

At the most something that glorifies Him. It has been all that is on my mind lately. What happens when I think about it all so much that it distracts from homework and family and friends? Is that good or bad?

I'm tired. and I want to take a long, long vacation. And I can't. I have to bear down and deal. I want more than this.