Cement Girl

You know walkabout did one thing for me: it made me appreciate things that i take for granted, or it gave me a new outlook on a few things. I missed the simple things while we gone- yes the regular toilet and a frequent shower.. but real connections and relationships with people. I had it on the trip, and i have it with my friends at school and i realized how precious that is. I missed my music SO much. I missed being able to pop in a familiar cd. I missed my car. I got in my car yesterday and realized how much i freakin' love driving my car. It is SO comfortable- it is one place in the world that is all mine... it is MY comfort zone and it is all me. all MOI.

Anyway... I guess through a lot of that, and my summer i've realized how.. frivolous it is to post on these message boards i go to. I go to them because they're comfortable and they're something to do when I'm bored, but I'm finding more and more that I just don't belong on there. I just wish i could meet people like the people on there in real life. and sometimes i wish it would just go away because it's so .. trivial.

I've realized lately that as much as i want to box myself into a certain description, i can't. I love music... i love going to concerts, i love discovering things.. but i, in no way, fit into the normal stereotype of an indie music lover. I love football, old cars, and watching the X games, i hate dressing up, but i'm not completely a tomboy. I love making a crochet rug, i love decorating, but I'm not Martha Stewart. I love reading books, i love ideas and thoughts, and i love asking questions... but i'm no seth studer.

and i love being this complicated.

i've realized how many high and lofty dreams i have.. for my life. and i like it that way.




those are deep thoughts today.

i came home yesterday from school because my dorm is boring and quiet with nobody there, and i hate sleeping there at night by myself on a hall, so i came home. we had a PA dinner at Andy's house which was fun, and then i came home. This morning i woke up and started working on my car. Sanding a lot of it... which was fun. It wasn't exactly FUN, but it was interesting and it gave me time to think. I decided i like the sound of soundpaper on car paint. I need to take pictures of the car while it's still looking like crap.

then my mom and i went shopping. We got caught up at Old Navy buying outfits for Hannah. We went to Target where I got a new pair of jeans, and my mom bought me a white 3/4 sleeve shirt and a sweater vest that is SO 1930's. I look hot and collegiate in it.. mm hmm. my mom says it reminds her of what my grandma wore in the 30s in high school, so i love it.

I worked on my rug also, this afternoon.. i need to get it done and down in my room. Just taking a break from that. I watched mine and Natalie's video from this last school year. Good times. I laughed so hard at putting our feet on the wall. we're really stupid/random/crazy.

"I am not a pretty girl..."-Ani Difranco