Cement Girl

i should be in bed, but i'm not quite ready yet...

I wanted to do a small recap of my summer the other day (yesterday?) but the internet was down, so i couldn't.

It's funny because I left school in May, and looked back over the past school year and saw absolutely nothing. I felt it was boring, that i hadn't changed, and somewhat dry.

And now i look back over this summer and I'm so excited because so many things happened. So let's recap, shall we? (do you guys actually read these long entries?)

I left school to move "home" to a two bedroom apartment with my parents. Not only were my parents there that weekend, but also joel and rinda and Hannah. I got to sleep on the floor. Rinda graduated, there was mother's day. And then for the next two weeks I babysat Hannah M-F and then M-Th, from about 7:15am to 4:30pm.

it was SO wonderful. I am so so so happy i had that time with Hannah before they permanently moved to K Falls. I got to sit with her in that small apartment and hold her for so many hours each day. There were literally times when I was sick of watching tv, so i would turn it off, and stare at her while she slept. (oh gosh. now i'm crying.) I was really reminded during that time how precious and unique we all are. We never usually feel that way, but as i studied Hannah I wondered about who she was going to grow up to be, and what she was going to call me, and what she would look like on her first day of school. The endless possibilities just in Hannah's life alone are so amazing.

Ummmm.. then after that i nannied.... and then we moved into our new place and a few days later my dad and i left with the youth group from our church for Mexico. AMAZING time.. it was really wonderful. I loved getting to know the kids in the youth group better. They were a great group of kids who worked really hard, and i was really sad to come home. The best part was when we got home and having the kids share about their experiences, and having them ask "okay- when are we going back?" i'm excited for a trip next summer!

Then i came back... and i worked some more.. for a month. Joel and Rinda came up fourth of july and we went to a rodeo!! woo! that was fun. Later in the month April, Tom, Michele and I went to the Scottish Highland Games which are ALWAYS enjoyable. Too bad it was really really hot that day and made it LESS enjoyable than its potential.

August 4th i moved back into my dorm room... the 5th we left for walkabout. I haven't really talked about it on my blog. I think i've talked to most people about it that actually read my blog. It was a really frustrating week for me. Ever since I've come to college i have said "I will not be on leadership because i think there are other ways besides walkabout to train leaders"... and I still believe that. But I wanted this PA position so bad that I went on Walkabout. (THIS HAD BETTER BE A GOOD YEAR!) umm.

So it was a tough week. It was hard for me to be the slowest person in the group. It was hard for me socially... when we got into our small group it was a lot better, but when everyone on leadership is around I get into a zone where I just don't want to talk to people.

The only highlight of the trip was that i loved my group SO much, and was so grateful for being in it. I don't know how i would've been in another group... God definitely placed me there for good reason.

But it was still a hard week... really really a lot. There were times when i just wanted to cry and go home, and i wanted to flail my arms and yell "WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME DO THIS CRAP?"

And it's hard to come back to a campus where everyone is so gungho about walkabout. Everything thinks it was the greatest week ever, and we're having to talk about what we learned on walkabout.

And the whole week all i could think was "the only thing this walkabout is telling me that i'm a horrible person." I was really down on myself most of the week and i don't see that as a healthy thing at all. All I knew was that i was slow, and I was filthy and I couldn't keep up with the rest of the group. That tends to make one feel like crap rather than "oh wowie! look what I did!"

I was so glad to get back. Except I came back to "So what did Walkabout teach you?" and i have to make up some contrived answer to make people feel good that they are spending money to send people on this stupid hiking trip.

maybe i'm just feeling bitter tonight. maybe i just wanted to complain.



ANYHOW. i've been working on doing things for my hall. i love it! I made a green "welcome home" sign for the wall that they see right when they come in. And then on the front of our hall door it says "therefore, if anyone is in Christ he is a new creation...." and then below the welcome home sign it will say "the old is gone, the new has come!" yaaay i love it. Then have some quotes from Switchfoot, Copeland and Brandtson randomly around the hall. And Jeremiah 29:11. And this quote i found at the store that i love "I hope i never get so used to the world that i never think it wonderful". yaaaay. it's great.

Then i made personalized plastic cups for my girls.. and i would tell you the contents of them, but i'm afraid Tai will read this and see what is waiting for her and i want it to be a surprise. so more on that later.

that is all. we've been having pa training in the morning. this is seriuos business and i don't know what i've gotten myself into. ah well.

hey natalie- "... here's to something more.."