Cement Girl

Hm. nothing is really going on. I babysit all day. then i come home. then i sleep. then i wake up really early and go 'running'. then i babysit again. it's a vicious cycle.

Today was funny. In the late afternoon the two boys i babysit (riley and miles) went outside and played in their driveway/garage with some neighborhood boys. There were about 6 of them there, and it was so fun to listen to (and pretend not to watch) their game of pretend. Usually you think that only girls play pretend, but these boys had this sci-fi pretend game going on, buying fake stuff from each other with 50,000 crystals, and having special elements that help them. It was pretty entertaining.

Message boards are wearing me out. I think my interest in them is just gone. I'm just kinda sick of trying to fit in somewhere. I wrote to someone yesterday that basically it's just me trying to find a place to fit into, and I can't do it.. because I don't fit in. It's really awkward, really. For some reason I have just always felt the need to FIT somewhere, and at the beginning of high school i found that place on the internet. not anymore. It's like my life is switching itself around, because I actually have offline (real life) things that I'm feeling a part of- my close friends- my school- and especially my church. I feel important to these people/institutions and I don't to the ones online.

Anyway. I always go onto message boards thinking that I'm going to be some great friend to someone, that I'll be on the inside of someone's inside joke... but it never happens. I need to get over it and get on with my life. And i really think that this coming year that just might happen. Hopefully I'll be so busy with school, my dorm hall, church, and working that I won't have time.

bah bah bah. I finally got to talk to Nick last night. That was good. I was sarcastic and stupid the whole time, but it was fun. I especially loved the part where i was like "hey nick... we gotta talk about something" and he says "yeah" and i struggle to get it out.. and i finally say "you can't come in october", knowing that he would freak out. and he's all "DON"T EVEN!!" haha i crack myself up... cause his plane tickets are non refundable, that's why.

wooooo. I have nothing more to say. Hopefully I get to see Natalie tomorrow niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight! (that's a strong bad "niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight")

mwah.

rotation in car (as in- the last week and a half I have been listening to strictly this in my car, in descending order from most played... these are the only cds i listen to lately):
Mates of State- My Solo Project
Brandtson- Death and Taxes
The Billions- Never Felt This Way Before
Seth's mixed country cds.. oooo i'm a croonnnerrrr
Switchfoot- New Way To Be Human.

I might have to mix it up tomorrow, but the MOS definitely stays. It goes NOWHERE.