Cement Girl

I got this job. And i'm really excited about it. I'm nervous that I won't do well, but i'm still excited. It's at this art gallery that's just opening on Saturday, and i get paid well, AND i get 10% commission on the art I sell. It's very good, and the owners are really nice. I have to dress up :(

I just realized tonight how old I'm getting! I didn't want to be this old. I didn't want to wear responsible clothes. I didn't want to look cute. I DON"T want to look cute. i want a sweatshirt and jeans.

I would like contentment. Isn't that ironic? Wanting contentment? Maybe that should be my Hum410 paper. Desiring contentment.

Anyway. that's what I thought about, while i drove home from church tonight. I'm so afraid of losing myself over the years. Will i be 55 and still listening to the music I listen to? My mom used to like the Beatles back in the day, but she doesn't listen to them anymore. I'd like to think i'll be different from my mom.

I started thinking all those questions: who IS meghan? what are my hopes and dreams? what are my fears? What are my passions? What am I going to do with my life? I may be okay, and know what I"m doing right now, but where the heck is my life going?

besides the fact that this whole "boy" things suck big apples.

goodnight

"God if You can hear
Can You help me and my friends
We've been driving all night
And two dead ends
We just wanna find our own way
Home again
We knew You as kids
But lost in You in smoky bars
We lost in the boom of the motorcars (?)
And in parties that grew into the yard"-twothirtyeight

# posted by Meghan @ 10:55 PM